Ever wonder how your yin and yang energy affects your sex life?

Good chemistry in the bedroom relies on a great balance between the two. In fact, yin/yang is the perfect balance of dynamic opposites working together to create harmony. When talking about sex – at least good sex – it’s not only helpful, it’s essential.

Defining yin and yang could be complicated – but let’s just oversimplify the concept and equate them to feminine and masculine energy (respectively). And, in the interest of our Sex in the City Theme, let’s review what’s yin and yang about our girls:

Samantha: Yin body and presentation (hair, clothes, makeup), yang attitude – especially in her sexcapades and career
Carrie: A fairly even balance – but more yin overall; her fetish for shoes/clothes and her sense of style is very yin, yet her apartment and fear of babies and commitment might be seen as a bit more yang
Miranda: More yang overall – particularly in personality/career. She does embrace her yin side when she allows Steve to pay for her and becomes a mom to Brady
Charlotte: Yin – pretty much through and through; a girlie girl who appreciates good ol’ fashioned romance and courting

Regardless of our gender, we all possess both yin and yang energy. In relationship, however, there is a subtle, yet powerful effect of connecting more fully to our more prominent tendencies – and avoiding the lack of passion of yin/yin or the power struggle of yang/yang. [Note: Even if you dating someone of the same sex, yin & yang roles have to exist for the relationship to work.]

So, ladies (forgive the sweeping heterosexual generalizations here) be yin! Let the guys take the lead. Embrace the chivalry. Think of Charlotte doing – well — anything. Allow yourself to be receptive. Remember Carrie giddily accepting a gorgeous dress from her Russian “lover.” This may be challenging at first – especially if you are taking on a more yang role in your work life, but it is essential if you want a relationship with a yang man!

And men, be yang! Initiate, open doors, help us with our coats, pick up the tab for drinks, make the first move…even if we can do all of this on our own. Be like The Russian or like Big (when they were being their BEST manly man, chivalrous moments of sweeping Carrie off of her feet).

This may seem old-fashioned…in fact, it is. Chinese metaphysics is thousands of years old. Yet, in modern society, sometimes stepping into our more natural yin & yang energies stretches us out of the comfort zones we created in more recent years.

With the woman’s movement, many females have become so independent and self-sufficient (think Miranda and Samantha – and even Carrie & Charlotte to a degree) that it can be harder to connect to the softer, gentler side that will be in greater harmony with a male’s primary provider nature. And, that doesn’t mean women can’t be strong, powerful beings and men can’t be sensitive…it just seems helpful when “connecting” to honor those yin & yang characteristics that are innate.

So, want to sex up this spring? Put the yin and the yang back where they belong – especially in the bedroom!

For more information on Feng Shui and life coaching, visit www.MERlifedesign.com or call 888-828-5888.

Have you ever walked into a room and noticed it looked and felt really good?  Or, perhaps you’ve been in a space that drained your energy and made you want to exit immediately. What’s the difference? While there are many factors contributing to our overall experience, the items in the environment and they way they are set up have a significant impact on us – physically, mentally and emotionally. Feng Shui is a way to arrange your environment to enhance your life.  It’s a powerful tool to create harmony and balance and to manifest what you want – even in the areas of love and commitment.

Think about this: Everything in our space has a message for us.  That’s because there is a thought, feeling or memory attached to it.  Some of the messages are positive, some are neutral, and some are negative.  Can you imagine if you set up your home so it was filled with positive messages that lifted your energy up and supported your intention around love and commitment? It’s an empowering concept.

Here are Ten Feng Shui Tips to do just that.

Tip #1

Remove the TV. Before you say “no way,” consider this incentive: A recent study found that couples who had a TV in the bedroom had sex half as often as those that didn’t. Why? Because the TV is a major distraction. In fact, it sits there starring at you screaming, “Turn me on!” while your partner is silently screaming, “No, turn me on!” Perhaps it would have been less of an obtrusion years ago when TVs were 16 inches, but nowadays, you just can’t miss the 50” flat screen and its built-in temptation to watch. For those of you who are adamant about keeping a TV in the bedroom, try enclosing it in a cabinet or concealing it in some way.

Tip #2

Now that the TV is gone, let’s remove some other distractions…including the computer, phone, and stereo. Trust me, you’ll notice the difference. If you must have music, again try enclosing the components or setting up your iPod discreetly.

Tip #3

Next up…photos. Since your bedroom is a private space for you and your partner, put photos of your family and friends in other parts of your home. There’s no better way to water-down intimacy than having the eyes of these folks watching from afar. Same with religious/spiritual images…even a gentle Buddha sitting peacefully can feel intrusive when you are in a passionate embrace.

Tip #4

And, speaking of eyes watching us – even our own can be triggering. Large mirrors in the space are distracting and reduce intimacy. Despite one popular belief (often held in Vegas) that mirrors enhance romance, most of us will actually feel better – and less self-conscious — without them in the bedroom. If you do have mirrors, try placing them where they can’t be seen from the bed. And, if you have mirrored closet doors, flip them around on the runners or add a curtain in front that you can close as needed.

Tip #5

Remove any/all clutter — especially clutter that’s visible in the space. Start with the surface areas (tops of nightstands/bureaus, etc.). Keep only what’s functional such as a lamp or clock or those things that are adding beauty to the space like candles and plants. Remember that much like the TV, clutter is a distraction. So get rid of anything you don’t need, use or love to create a more restful and romantic environment.

Tip #6

Ask yourself if the position of your bed indicate that you are open to partnership. If one side is pushed up against the wall, it would be hard to accommodate a mate. So, make sure there is equal space on either side of the bed for both people to get in/out comfortably. Also, add two bedside tables and two lamps – preferably of equal size to symbolize balance and equality (even if you perceive that you should maintain the control). And, position the head of your bed against a solid wall with a view of the door. This will help you and your partner relax and be even more present with each other.

Tip #7

What’s on your walls? A good guideline is to display artwork that is romantic or peaceful. The image of a couple embracing can affirm love and partnership. And, even abstract artwork can add softness, style, and personality.

Tip #8

Assess your bedding. Does it need to be refreshed? Perhaps you can splurge on a new duvet cover, sheets, and pillows. If you do, select warm colors (flesh tones are great) and sensual fabrics (e.g. cotton satin, microfiber, silk, etc.). Keep bold patterns & colors to a minimum – in fact, just accent with them instead of using them as a primary focus. This will help create a calm and welcoming environment.

Tip #9

Set the mood and enhance the ambience with soft lighting. Install dimmers and use floor and table lamps to avoid the jarring nature of overhead lights. Add window treatments (for the straight men reading this, window treatments are curtains, draperies or other coverings), area rugs, throw pillows, and blankets. Use candles, real plants with soft round leaves, and/or fresh flowers to complete the look/feel.

Tip #10

Take pleasure in your hard work and enjoy the Feng Shui benefits. By reducing distractions and anchoring the idea of partnership, it will be easier to keep romance alive.

May the new “schway” in your bedroom support connection, romance, passion, sensuality, love and commitment for the two of you!

* Additional tips are available on the “Everyday Feng Shui” instructional audio CD available here.