Care (noun): the work of providing treatment for or attending to someone or something; activity involved in maintaining something in good working order; maintenance at a regularly scheduled time; Care (verb): to look after, mind, watch, protect, tend, nurse, or manage.

I recently gave a talk as part of a local speaker series for a community organization here in Santa Monica, California. Attendees participated in powerful exploration around an extremely important, yet often overlooked topic: Self-care.

In our results-driven, productivity-focused society, it is hardly a surprise that self-care is not included in the dictionary. We can, however, break it down and apply the pertinent part of the definition of care: “the activity involved in maintaining something in good working order.” That “something” is us.

Keeping our “self” in good working order requires willingness, commitment and loving discipline. It may sound challenging – especially given all of the to-dos in our day. Nevertheless, the truth is, if we are going to “take care” of other people and things, we MUST take care of ourselves first. (more…)

What’s a single person to do in today’s dating world? Is there a balance between modern and old-fashioned etiquette that can result in a great connection between a man and a woman? Perhaps there’s something we can learn from the popular philosophy of Yin & Yang. The symbol of Yin and Yang is a recognizable image to most, but what does it actually mean, and how does it relate to dating?

Yin and Yang are opposites – constantly intertwining to balance each other out and create perfect harmony. Yin is the more passive, gentle, receptive, soft, round, dark and feminine energy. Yang is more assertive, hard, angular, light, bold and masculine. If we oversimplify it, yin is associated with female and yang with male. When women and men step into their respective “male” and “female” energies and their behavior matches, there is a dynamic interplay that works beautifully.

In today’s world however, we are bombarded with messages, advice and “rules” about what to “do” or “not do” and how to act when dating. Add in feminist women, sensitive men, cultural nuances and voilá – we’ve got a whole lot of disharmony going on. (more…)

Feng Shui is about the alignment of energy – in your home and in your life. In the dating world, being “aligned’ is equally important – in fact it’s critical – especially if you want to get beyond courtship and into a more committed relationship.

At a lunch recently with five single and one married woman, the subject of dating, partnership and marriage came up. At one point, a gal who has a boyfriend she’s unsure about asked the group elder, who has been happily married for 45 years, “What’s the secret?” The older, wiser woman replied quickly and matter-of-fact, “Common goals.”

We all sat quietly and took in the simple yet profound statement. Could it be just that? As I pondered the response later, it occurred to me that “common goals” is a great baseline. To be fully in alignment, though, there needs to be a few other things.

The young singles at the table, ages 33-41, could be categorized as a Sex & the City crowd. They are independent, successful, attractive, and confident, holding out for that undeniable “connection,” and often sacrificing along the way. (more…)

Refresh: Definition – Mirriam-Webster

1: to restore strength and animation to: revive

2: to freshen up: renovate

3 a: to restore or maintain by renewing supply: replenish b: arouse, stimulate (let me refresh your memory)

4: to run water over or restore water to

5: to update or renew especially by sending a new signal

Synonym: Renew

Ever feel like you just need to refresh?

A few weeks ago, I bought some fresh fish at the Farmer’s Market. When I went to put it in the freezer, I noticed it was full-to-the-brim. I had zero room for anything else. While I tell my clients to declutter their homes and leave space for new things to come into their lives, I realized I was guilty of a cluttered refrigerator! At that moment, I took everything out, threw away the old, organized what I wanted to keep, and made room for my fish and plenty more. Now, every time I open the freezer, I smile and feel refreshed.

I was aware this would probably inspire me to take a closer look at other areas – which I did. That afternoon, I cleaned my closets. While I’m a pretty organized person with limited excess “stuff,” I was surprised to find many items I was holding on even though I hadn’t worn them in almost a year. So, I put theses items to the test – and tried them on. As soon as I donned the shirt, dress or pants, I knew if I was supposed to keep them or let them go. I ended up packing up several bags of clothes to take to Goodwill. I even threw in the duvet and shams that had been with me since I moved into my current home five years ago. After all, they had been through two boyfriends and there was someone new and special in my life now. I thought about the Feng Shui principle of energy and decided freshening was a must. (more…)

I was at a place called Color Me Mine recently and noticed a ceramic plaque to paint that said “Kindly Remove Your Shoes.”

I smiled and was immediately drawn to it.  I recalled a party I had a few years back where I had printed a sign for my door that said the same thing…and ended up with nearly fifty pairs of shoes in the hallway.  Some people laughed, some were embarrassed and said they should have worn nicer socks, some resisted the idea, and others understood and were gracefully compliant.  Fortunately, unlike Carrie Bradshaw in a Sex & the City episode, no one rushed off with someone else’s Minolo Blahnick’s.

I began taking off my shoes in my home while living in New York City.  I had started to study Feng Shui and had a new sense of reverence for my environment.  I was aware that was standard practice in Asian countries such as Japan, China, Cambodia, Taiwan and India - and soon learned that it is also traditional in Sweden, Canada, Jamaica, Turkey, parts of Europe and the UK, and Hawaii.

While some cultures, like the Japanese, take off shoes primarily to keep their floors and tatami mats clean (because they sit and sleep on them), others have a more religious origin related to removing shoes before entering a sacred space or place of worship. (more…)

I was standing in front of the register at the Adidas store today – buying a David Beckham soccer jersey for my niece’s birthday, when everything shook. It’s as if I were on a boat swaying from side to side. The rep who was helping me seemed unphased, but I was watching the room move and lights sway, and I froze in that moment. He hadn’t even noticed, but it had literally rocked my world.

Turns out it was an earthquake. It’s actually an expected occurrence when living in California, but also a strange thing to experience. I felt sea-sick, nauseous, off-kilter. In fact, I have vertigo described, and this felt similarly.

As the earth was thrown temporarily off balance, so was I. And, the “after-shock” lasted in my body for nearly an hour. When I arrived home, I sat down, had some water and centered myself. I took a few deep breaths and referenced the room. I noticed the balance in the space. The way things were arranged, the way the furniture grounded the room. I also observed what might “shake” or “fall” if there were a strong stimulus. (more…)

Have you ever walked into a room and noticed it looked and felt really good? Have you wondered if it is easier to get things done in a clean organized office versus a cluttered one in disarray? Have you ever noticed whether or not you feel uneasy if you sit with your back to the door? In general, how much do you think your surroundings impact you?

Between our homes and offices, most of us spend approximately 80-90 percent of our time indoors. And, when improving our lives, we sometimes forget the importance of our space.

Feng Shui, simply put, is a way to arrange your environment to enhance your life. It’s a powerful tool to create harmony and balance, and manifest what you want.

Whether you’re a Tools To Life veteran, recently joined, or just stopped by to read the Inspirations, I’d like to encourage you to look at your space with a new set of eyes.

Everything in our environment has a message for us. That’s because everything has a thought, feeling or memory attached to it. Some of the messages are positive, some are neutral and some are negative. Now, imagine if you set up your home and office so that all of those messages support and uplift you? It’s an empowering concept. (more…)