Have you ever walked into a room and noticed it looked and felt really good? Or, perhaps you’ve been in a space that drained your energy and made you want to exit immediately. What’s the difference? While there are many factors contributing to our overall experience, the items in the environment and they way they are set up have a significant impact on us – physically, mentally and emotionally. Feng Shui is a way to arrange your environment to enhance your life. It’s a powerful tool to create harmony and balance and to manifest what you want – even in the areas of love and commitment.
Think about this: Everything in our space has a message for us. That’s because there is a thought, feeling or memory attached to it. Some of the messages are positive, some are neutral, and some are negative. Can you imagine if you set up your home so it was filled with positive messages that lifted your energy up and supported your intention around love and commitment? It’s an empowering concept.
Here are Ten Feng Shui Tips to do just that.
Remove the TV. Before you say “no way,” consider this incentive: A recent study found that couples who had a TV in the bedroom had sex half as often as those that didn’t. Why? Because the TV is a major distraction. In fact, it sits there starring at you screaming, “Turn me on!” while your partner is silently screaming, “No, turn me on!” Perhaps it would have been less of an obtrusion years ago when TVs were 16 inches, but nowadays, you just can’t miss the 50” flat screen and its built-in temptation to watch. For those of you who are adamant about keeping a TV in the bedroom, try enclosing it in a cabinet or concealing it in some way.
Now that the TV is gone, let’s remove some other distractions…including the computer, phone, and stereo. Trust me, you’ll notice the difference. If you must have music, again try enclosing the components or setting up your iPod discreetly.
Next up…photos. Since your bedroom is a private space for you and your partner, put photos of your family and friends in other parts of your home. There’s no better way to water-down intimacy than having the eyes of these folks watching from afar. Same with religious/spiritual images…even a gentle Buddha sitting peacefully can feel intrusive when you are in a passionate embrace.
And, speaking of eyes watching us – even our own can be triggering. Large mirrors in the space are distracting and reduce intimacy. Despite one popular belief (often held in Vegas) that mirrors enhance romance, most of us will actually feel better – and less self-conscious — without them in the bedroom. If you do have mirrors, try placing them where they can’t be seen from the bed. And, if you have mirrored closet doors, flip them around on the runners or add a curtain in front that you can close as needed.
Remove any/all clutter — especially clutter that’s visible in the space. Start with the surface areas (tops of nightstands/bureaus, etc.). Keep only what’s functional such as a lamp or clock or those things that are adding beauty to the space like candles and plants. Remember that much like the TV, clutter is a distraction. So get rid of anything you don’t need, use or love to create a more restful and romantic environment.
Ask yourself if the position of your bed indicate that you are open to partnership. If one side is pushed up against the wall, it would be hard to accommodate a mate. So, make sure there is equal space on either side of the bed for both people to get in/out comfortably. Also, add two bedside tables and two lamps – preferably of equal size to symbolize balance and equality (even if you perceive that you should maintain the control). And, position the head of your bed against a solid wall with a view of the door. This will help you and your partner relax and be even more present with each other.
What’s on your walls? A good guideline is to display artwork that is romantic or peaceful. The image of a couple embracing can affirm love and partnership. And, even abstract artwork can add softness, style, and personality.
Assess your bedding. Does it need to be refreshed? Perhaps you can splurge on a new duvet cover, sheets, and pillows. If you do, select warm colors (flesh tones are great) and sensual fabrics (e.g. cotton satin, microfiber, silk, etc.). Keep bold patterns & colors to a minimum – in fact, just accent with them instead of using them as a primary focus. This will help create a calm and welcoming environment.
Set the mood and enhance the ambience with soft lighting. Install dimmers and use floor and table lamps to avoid the jarring nature of overhead lights. Add window treatments (for the straight men reading this, window treatments are curtains, draperies or other coverings), area rugs, throw pillows, and blankets. Use candles, real plants with soft round leaves, and/or fresh flowers to complete the look/feel.
Take pleasure in your hard work and enjoy the Feng Shui benefits. By reducing distractions and anchoring the idea of partnership, it will be easier to keep romance alive.
May the new “schway” in your bedroom support connection, romance, passion, sensuality, love and commitment for the two of you!